YGO in LOTR
by rawwar89
Summary: Rated for some bad language, and gore in Ch8. A YGO/LOTR crossover. Not much else to it, but its funny. pairings are Legolas/OC, Yugi/Tea (sort of, Yugi's not ready for a relationship:D), and possibly a little bit of Joey/Mai.
1. The beginning

This starts right after duelist Kingdom.  
  
Bakura: Hahaha. I have 2 millennium items now! I will banish you all to the Shadow Realm.  
  
Mai: * runs out of castle waving arms * (don't ask) hey guys! Wazzup  
  
* Flash of blinding light *  
  
Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Tea, Mai, & Kaiba bros: AAAH!  
  
Joey: Where the heck are we?  
  
Kaiba: We are in the Shadow Realm you moron.  
  
Yugi: Hey, what's that light over there?  
  
Tea: I don't know Yugi, let's go check it out.  
  
* All run towards light and fall down in bushes * * All hear yelling and bickering *  
  
Frodo: I will take it. I will take the ring to Mordor. * bickering stops * Though I do not know the way.  
  
Gandalf: I will help you bear this burden, so long as it is yours to bear.  
  
Aragorn: If by my life or death I can protect you, I shall. You have my sword.  
  
Legolas: And you have my bow.  
  
Airenidale: And you have my sword and my bow.  
  
Elrond: Sister you cannot go. This is man's work.  
  
Airenidale: You sexist bastard! I'm going and you can't stop me!  
  
Elrond: Go to your room.  
  
Airenidale: * pouty face and stalks off *  
  
Gimli: And my axe!  
  
Boromir: You carry the fate of us all little one. If this is indeed the will of the council, then Gondor will see it done.  
  
Sam: Heh! * runs to Frodo * Mr. Frodo's not going anywhere without me.  
  
Elrond: Yes indeed, it is hardly possible to separate you two even when he is summoned to a secret council and you are not.  
  
YGO gang: * snickering *  
  
Elrond & Legolas: WHO'S THERE!?  
  
Joey: Hey! How did you hear us?  
  
Elves: * roll their eyes * we are elves you dolt.  
  
Joey: * puppy dog face * Great! Two insults in one day.  
  
Elrond: Uhh. are you coming out any time soon?  
  
YGO gang: Oh yeah. * jump out * We're coming to!  
  
Elrond: * points at Yugi & Mokuba & Mai & Tea * The children and the women can't go.  
  
Yugi: Why not?  
  
Elrond: Again, this is man's work.  
  
Yugi: * looks down at his shortness * I'm not a child! Watch this! YU - GI - OH! * merges w/ Yami *  
  
Yami: I'm older than you. I'm 5000, so there :P.  
  
Elrond: Well. I'm 5001, so there :P.  
  
Yami: Grrr  
  
Mai: Well, since I'm obviously not wanted, I'll just go find your sister. I have to find out what she puts in her hair!  
  
Tea: Uhh. I'll go with her.  
  
Seto: If I go, Mokuba goes, and I'm going.  
  
Mokuba: * randomly * Big bother!  
  
Elrond: Well, he can't go.  
  
Seto: Well, what do you expect us to do? Sit around here waiting for a portal back home?  
  
Elrond: That works. Merry & Pippin: Oy! We're coming, too! And you'd hafta tie us all up in a sack to stop us!  
  
Elrond: Very well. You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring.  
  
Tristan: What ring?  
  
All except YGO: * roll eyes *  
  
Pippin: Right. Where are we going?  
  
All including YGO: * roll eyes *  
  
Joey: Ferget where we're goin' what're we doin'?  
  
All except YGO: * roll eyes * 


	2. Continues

I need to write some notes that I left out of the 1st Chapter. Disclaimer: I don't own YGO or LOTR. I don't own Airenidale, she belongs to my friend. I own me and I will appear in later chapters.  
  
The "e" in Tea should have an accent, bet I'm too lazy to put it in. And I forgot to fix Joey's lines to make them a Boston accent.  
  
* words * = actions  
  
I think that's all.  
  
In Airenidale's room:  
  
Elrond: I'm sorry I wouldn't let you girls go. Uhh. why are you dressed for travel?  
  
Airenidale, Mai, & Tea: * stick their noses in the air (defiantly) *  
  
Elrond: I understand why you're mad at me, but please don't be like that.  
  
Airenidale: * stands up * You know what? You're terrible at enforcing house- arrest.  
  
Elrond: Huh?  
  
Airenidale: Look! The windows have no glass! * walks over to window & jumps back and forth through window * I'm inside, I'm outside, I'm inside, I'm outside, inside outside inside outsideinsideoutside - Look I'm both! :D. * straddles window * Let's go, ladies. * jumps outside and runs toward fellowship * Bye!  
  
Mai & Tea: * follow Airenidale * Uhh. Bye!  
  
Girls meet up with Fellowship.  
  
Yugi (he switched back): Yay! Tea's coming! ^________^  
  
Legolas: Praise the Valar! It's Airenidale! She's coming! . I mean uh, that's nice. * gets nervous look *  
  
Aragorn: I see that Elrond changed his mind.  
  
Mai: No he didn't! We esca -- * Airenidale's hand covers her mouth *  
  
Airenidale: Yeah, something like that.  
  
Mai: *rolls eyes & is released *  
  
Tea: * starts a friendship speech randomly * * is ignored *  
  
Joey: Since ya probably don't know what's goin' on, I'll fill ya in. Ya see, dat ring is evil and -  
  
Mai: Save it, Joey. Airenidale here filled us in already, plus she gave us these cool new outfits.  
  
Joey: Yeah, I noticed, you look great.  
  
All anime characters (YGO gang + Airenidale) except Joey: * sweatdrop * (the rest would if they could)  
  
Scene on those weird rocks.  
  
* practice swordfight between Boromir & Merry, Pippin, & Yugi * * Mai & Legolas arguing about whose hair is better *  
  
Gimli: If anyone would ask my opinion, which I know their not, I'd say we were taking the long way round.  
  
Joey: Hey! Why didn't I think of it before! I could summon my red-eyes! . Um, does anyone know how to summon a monster?  
  
YGO cast: * sweatdrop * LOTR cast: * stare blankly *  
  
Tristan: I saw Bakura do it once. You hold up the card and say "I summon 'Name of Monster'"  
  
Joey: Oh, ok. I summon Red Eyes Black Dragon!  
  
LOTR cast: DRAGON!  
  
Tea: Great thinking Joey!  
  
* Nothing happens *  
  
All: Uhh.  
  
Joey: Uhh. Never mind?  
  
Legolas: * squints into the distance *  
  
Yugi: What are you looking at Legolas?  
  
Gimli: It's nothing! Just a wisp of cloud!  
  
Boromir: It's moving fast, and against the wind.  
  
Legolas: Crebain from Dunland! Hide! Especially Yugi!  
  
Yugi: * slowly & suspiciously* Why?  
  
Aragorn: Your hair is too noticeable.  
  
Authoress: * appears * * Gives YGO gang Lothlorien style hats *  
  
Airenidale: That works.  
  
Joey: Wait! What's Crebain? Where's Dunland? What's with the hats!?  
  
Muahahahaha evil cliff hanger. Ok, so you've all heard that exact phase a million times. So what? Review, or only my best friends will read this! 


	3. Caradhras

OMG I got reviews! Muahahahahahahahahahahahahayadayada. Ok, I'll post Ch 3.  
  
Cliffhanger relief um thingy.  
  
Joey: What's Crebain? Where's Dunland? What's with the hats?  
  
* Authoress disappears *  
  
(Crebain have passed)  
  
Merry: I have no idea, I have no idea, and your hair is florescent.  
  
Pippin: Yeah, I need shades.  
  
Authoress: That is a weird picture in my brain.  
  
All: ? ~_^ Whatever.  
  
Sam: Hey! Why haven't I said anything yet?  
  
Authoress: You're still here? I thought I sent you to the Shadow Realm. Oh well, I'll do it now.  
  
* Sam and Authoress disappear*  
  
Frodo: Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-*takes breathe*- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam! NO!  
  
Mai: What a set of lungs.  
  
Carhadras Scene  
  
Joey: We'll never make it to the top.  
  
Mai: Ugh. Boys.  
  
Later-  
  
* Men pick up hobbits * * Gimli tries to pick up Yugi*  
  
Yugi: * switches to Yami *  
  
Yami: Unhand me, foolish mortal!  
  
Gimli: Aaah! What are you?  
  
Yami: I am a 5000 year old Egyptian Spirit. Sadly, that is all I know about my self. * Goes into deep sad thought *  
  
Gimli: Uhh. Egypt, right, whatever.  
  
Tea: I can't go on. * faints *  
  
Yami: Tea! * catches Tea * I'll carry you, Tea.  
  
Tea: Oh, Yugi.  
  
Yami: Uh, I'm Yami.  
  
Tea: * recovers & stands up * Aww, I wanted Yugi. * pouts *  
  
Yami: He wouldn't be able to carry you.  
  
Puzzle: Hey!  
  
Unconscious hobbits: Aahh! Inanimate objects are talking!  
  
Gandalf: Nooo!  
  
Wind: kishv fdkls djdo xlajhd kdahfi jz sdjf zaks dkhf kishv fdkls djdo xlajhd kdahfi jz sdjf zaks dkhf  
  
Legolas: There is a foul voice on the air.  
  
Airenidale: Gee, Ya think.  
  
Gandalf: It's Saruman!  
  
Tea: We should try to make friends with Saruman. I'll bet he's just lonely.  
  
YGO cast that is present: * rolls eyes *  
  
LOTR cast: * horror faces *  
  
Airenidale: * eye twitches *  
  
Tea: . Or something.  
  
Gandalf: Saruman has possessed her!  
  
* Yami switches to Yugi *  
  
Yugi: No, she's always like that. * Looks at Tea kindly (as is his way) *  
  
Aragorn: Saruman is trying to bring down the mountain! Gandalf, we must turn back! Tea: WHAT? After we climbed all that way?  
  
Mai: Wow, Joey was actually right. We didn't make it to the top.  
  
Yugi: Where is Joey?  
  
Mai: We left him and Tristan halfway down the mountain. They're probably buried in snow by now.  
  
Boromir: This will be the death of the hobbits! Gandalf! We must turn back! And we can't leave Tristan and Joey!  
  
Gandalf: But, but.  
  
Authoress: * appears * Geez Gandalf, it's just a Balrog. * rolls eyes * * disappears *  
  
Gandalf: AGH! I'll show you! Forward to Moria!  
  
Like it? Hate it? Do I care? No, so review truthfully, pleez. 


	4. Into the Mines

I want to say beforehand that I mean no offense to blondes. I am a dumb blonde which, I would think is worse. Disclaimer: I don't own anything except me. Airenidale belongs to my friend.  
  
Right before Moria  
  
Tristan: So. what exactly is Moria anyway?  
  
Gimli: O_O but, but, but surely you have heard of Khazad-Dum, The Great City of the Dwarves!  
  
Joey: O.o uh, I'm not ringin' any bells.  
  
Legolas: What do bells have to do with this?  
  
Mai: It's called a figure of speech, you blonde.  
  
Airenidale: You're one to talk.  
  
Mai: Stop sticking up for your boyfriend.  
  
Legolas: I'm not her boyfriend! * nervous look *  
  
Mai: Stay out of this, blonde male!  
  
Airenidale: Shut up!  
  
Joey: Ladies! Break it up!  
  
Mai & Airenidale: Stay out of this! * sissy fight *  
  
Gimli: * talking to Yugi & Frodo * The secrets of Moria are so well hidden that even its masters cannot remember them.  
  
Legolas: Why am I not surprised?  
  
Airenidale: * giddy laugh *  
  
Tea: That wasn't a very friendly thing to say. Why don't you two be friends instead? The bonds of friendship are very powerful and * continues unheard *  
  
Gandalf: Look! The great doors of Moria!  
  
Tristan: Um, what did you say Moria is again?  
  
Joey: -_- He said it was the city of dwarves.  
  
Gimli: That is Khazad-Dum! Moria is -  
  
Yugi ( to Gandalf ): so how do we get in?  
  
Gandalf: Well, It's very simple. This writing up here says. uh, it says.  
  
Aragorn: The important part is Speak Friend and Enter.  
  
Merry: What do you suppose that means?  
  
Galdalf: Well, it's very simple. If you are a friend you speak the password and the doors will open! * says something in elvish *  
  
Legolas: * raises one eyebrow * Pink rabbits and bunny flowers?  
  
Yugi: No! Not * duhn duhn duhn * Funny Bunny!  
  
* Doors of Moria swing open and cause a cave in *  
  
Frodo: * oblivious * It's a riddle.  
  
* Something moves through the water. *  
  
Tea: * high pitched scream *  
  
Frodo: * still oblivious * Gandalf, What's the Elvish Word for friend?  
  
Gandalf: Uh. Uh. Uh.  
  
Legolas: It's melon.  
  
Airenidale: Uh. Why didn't that work?  
  
Frodo: Let me try. Mellon.  
  
* Rocks roll away *  
  
Airenidale: Oh, now I know what was wrong. Legolas had a typo.  
  
All: Wha?  
  
Airenidale: Never mind.  
  
* all walk into moria *  
  
Gimli: Soon master elf, you shall enjoy the fabled hospitality of the dwarves!  
  
Mai: How can you live here? This place reeks!  
  
Yugi: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! * falls down into skeletons * * lothlorien hat falls off and hair aluminates skulls *  
  
Tea: Yugiiiiiiiiii. * jumps into his arms *  
  
Yugi: * knees buckling * Yami! Help -- * falls down * -- me.  
  
Tea: Yugiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!  
  
Frodo: Ha! My lungs are bigger than yours!  
  
Tea: Well, I just didn't want to waste space, but if you want to have a screaming contest.  
  
Frodo: Yes! On the count of 3. 1, 2, 3!  
  
Aragorn: Stoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
  
* continues for 3 pages* oooooooooooop!  
  
Mai: We have a new champion!  
  
* Giant Squid grabs Frodo, Yugi, Airenidale *  
  
Joey: Oooooh, Yum! Calamari!  
  
Tristan: * druels *  
  
Aragorn: How can you think of your stomachs at a time like this!?  
  
Mai: It's what they do.  
  
Legolas: Nooooooo! Airenidale! I'm coming! . Uh, I mean, Oh dear? * nervous look *  
  
Joey: Haha. You care about your girlfriend!  
  
* Mai gets Grabbed *  
  
Joey: Maaiiiii! Nooooooooooo! * pants for breathe *  
  
Mai: Joey you idiot! Don't just stand there and panic! Get me out of this thing!  
  
Tea: Yugi! Somebody help him!  
  
Legolas: Why don't you? It's not like you don't have a sword.  
  
Tea: I'm just a girl!  
  
Legolas: *points at Airenidale who is freeing herself effectively * So is she!  
  
Frodo: * sob * Nobody cares.  
  
Squid: I care! * dies *  
  
* Everyone falls *  
  
Legolas: Airenidale! * catches her *  
  
Joey: Haha. You saved your girlfriend!  
  
Legolas: Uh, Uh. She's not my girlfriend! I uh. I . Look at that dirty water! Some people appreciate clean hair! * smiles proudly *  
  
Mai: She's not the only one. Joey, why didn't you catch me, you idiot? My hair is filthy!  
  
Joey: Ugh, stupid elf-boy.  
  
Legolas: Filthy human.  
  
Airenidale: Oh no, Legolas. We must pity those less pretty.  
  
Frodo: Legolas! How could you?!  
  
Legolas: How could I what?  
  
Frodo: You killed him!  
  
Tristan: O.o Him?  
  
Legolas: It was about to eat Airen- Uh, I mean you.  
  
Frodo: He was the only one who cared other than Sam who's gone.  
  
Mai: Well, now that thing is gone too, so deal with it!  
  
Frodo: Nobody cares.  
  
* rumbling *  
  
Yugi: Uh, can anyone hear that?  
  
Gandalf: Into the mines!  
  
* all run into mines * * rocks from cave-in before seal entrance *  
  
Tea: Yugi! I'm afraid of the dark! Where are you? Please hold my hand!  
  
Yugi: * Takes of hat (that reappeared on his head magicly) * I'm coming Tea! Florescent hair is not always bad!  
  
Merry & Pippin: What do we do now?  
  
Gandalf: We have but one choice. We must face the long dark of Moria.  
  
Duhn, duhn, duhn. R & r please. 


	5. Where's Boromir? What's Tape?

I would like to comment on a review that gave offense to a friend of mine. She says that she liked Legolas before the movie came out. So there :P And about the anonymous reviews, I tried to make it possible, but I'm not sure it worked, so sorry if you can't review, but I can't help it. WAAAAAAAAAH! ( Also I am going to have a poll as soon as I can get anonymous reviews abut The hair argument. Think carefully and try not to be biased toward your favorite character. This is a hair contest, not a popularity show.  
  
Joey: I can't go on. Can't move. Too tired. * falls into Mai's arms * How long have we been walking?  
  
Tristan: Are we there yet?  
  
Mai: Get off of me you lazy moron! We've been walking for five minutes!  
  
Tristan: Are we there yet?  
  
Aragorn: It is a four day journey.  
  
Tristan: Are we there yet?  
  
Tea: Could someone tape his mouth shut, pleeeease? * looks desparately at Yugi *  
  
Authoress: * appears * * tapes Tristan's mouth shut * * disappears *  
  
Tristan: Urmph ee err eh?  
  
Pippin: What's tape?  
  
YGO gang: * rolls eyes *  
  
* 30 minutes later *  
  
Merry: Which way is it Gandalf?  
  
Gandalf: Uh.Uh.Uh, you figure it out!  
  
Frodo: But, but, but you are the guide!  
  
Authoress: * appears * too bad we don't have Bakura and his Millenium Ring.  
  
Tristan: O_O  
  
Yugi: But, but, Bakura would send us all to the shadow realm before he would help us!  
  
Authoress: ^__^ * smiles innocently * he wouldn't send meeeeee to the shadow realm.  
  
Airenidale: You're demented! OoO  
  
Authoress: What was your first clue?  
  
Gimli: (who is a little slow) Which way do we go Gandalf?  
  
Authoress: I know! Follow your nose! * pushes Joey forward *  
  
Airenidale: Stop stealing lines!  
  
Authoress: He's been having too much pipeweed. He wouldn't have thought of it!  
  
All exept Airenidale & Authoress: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..  
  
Joey: Hey who pushed me! Waaaaaaait I smell something?  
  
All: :D  
  
Joey: It smells dead.  
  
All: * sweatdrop *  
  
Mai: Well, like, no duh!  
  
Gandalf: Ahh, it's this way!  
  
Merry: He's remembered!  
  
Gandalf: No, but the air doesn't smell so foul down here. When in doubt, always follow your nose!  
  
Joey: I coulda told ya that!  
  
Authoress: ( Alright say it.  
  
Airenidale: I told you so! (  
  
Merry: Seriously, what is tape?  
  
Gimli: Welcome to the dwarf city!  
  
Mai: It looks like a bunch of rocks to me.  
  
Gimli: Rocks! This is the home of my cousin Balin!  
  
Tristan: Urmph urmph! * points *  
  
Legolas: What did he say?  
  
Joey: He said looky-looky. Hey isn't that a tomb?  
  
Gimli: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo * only 1 pages ( (sorry to the Gimli fans; what am I saying? What Gimli fans!?) * ooo!!!  
  
Mai: And we have a runner - up!  
  
* all follow Gimli into next room. *  
  
Gandalf: Here lies Balin, Lord of Moria. He is dead then.  
  
Gimli: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-  
  
Mai: No, screaming louder does not give you bonus points.  
  
Gimli: But it takes more breath to scream louder! (  
  
Mai: It still doesn't count.  
  
Gimli: Aww.  
  
Joey: Does this mean we don't getta eat?  
  
Gandalf: * picks up heavy rotting book * Ooooooooh :D Balin's Diary! * starts reading from a random page *  
  
Pippin: *stares at a button on the well * Do not touch. Hmm. I wonder what would happen if .  
  
Airenidale: Pippin! Nooooooooooooooooooooooo-  
  
Authoress: Too late! :D  
  
* Hollywood special effects: explosion *  
  
Pippin: O_O!  
  
Authoress: * sigh * Don'cha just hate how fake Hollywood is?  
  
All: .  
  
Authoress: FINE! IGNORE ME! SEE IF I CARE!  
  
All: Ok.  
  
Authoress: * shakes head *  
  
Gandalf: * NON- accidentally knocks skelloton into the well * Fool of a Took!  
  
Random- no, ALL enraged Pippin fangirls (EPF): Liaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar! * clobber gandalf *  
  
Authoress: * blows whistle* * fangirls stop * That's enough ladies. We can't kill off one of the main characters before his time.  
  
LOTR movie expert/ EPF: Well, he comes ba-  
  
Authoress: * Does big scary Gandalf magic trick * NO SPOILERS! * endS G magic trick * But I see your point. You may tell the others.  
  
EPF: * proceed to kill Gandalf as low ratedly as possible *  
  
Yugi: Uhh. I hate to interrupt, but.  
  
Tristan: eh ih ay ah oh ee! (Get this tape off of me!)  
  
Authoress: * rolls eyes * Ugh. Fine, but if you say "Are we there yet" one more time, . * snaps fingers & tape is removed *  
  
Tristan: Yay I can talk again! ^________^  
  
Authoress: What were you saying Yugi? * arrows rain from the, uh, doorway! narrowly missing everybody * Oh. That.  
  
Tea: * high pitched scream (subsequently [futurely] known as EEEK! For lack of a better word) * Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! Yugiiiiiiiiiiii!  
  
Aragorn: Bar the doors! * pushing all by himself *  
  
Authoress: They have a cavetroll ha said it before you Boromir - Boromir?  
  
Airenidale: Where did he go!?  
  
* everyone looks frantically for Boromir. including orcs & troll. Excluding Merry, because.*  
  
Merry: Seriously, what is tape? Hahahaha. Cliffie cause my finger is dying. (I hunt and peck, pleez don't attack, it's an important skill if u have to type 1 handed) The 3 Questions of the day are: Will Merry find out what tape is?, Will Merry ever find out what tape is?, and Should he drop the subject? (Vote in the reviews, and maybe Galadriel will tell him that Airenidale knows. Unfortunately, that is top secret info, so Galadriel could die for giving it out. :D) R&R pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee * infinite pages, ha I love authoress power! * eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez!!! 


	6. Cavetrolls and Balrogs and Duel Monsters...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH HHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Writer's Block is evil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry to keep everyone waiting, but I had my very first case of writer's block!!!!!!!! Disclaimer: I own me & happipurple and no one else so don't sue because I only have something hundred something. uh. cents! ( or is it sense? ;D ok, so that was a bad joke, what can I say?) Oh, yeah, Airenidale belongs to my friend, & the guest star Andra belongs to my other friend. If ne1 else wants to guest star, send it in review. Oh, yeah, the poll about the hair war that I mentioned in CH5 is on. Start voting!  
  
In Moria looking for Boromir one week after last chapter  
  
Authoress's Hikari: * appears *  
  
Tristan: Jesus Christ! Not another one!  
  
Authoress's Hikari: My name's not Jesus Christ Not Another One. My name is happipurple! :D  
  
Mai: What kind of name is Happipurple?  
  
Happipurple: It's a username! :D  
  
YGO cast: * sweatdrop *  
  
Gimli ( who as you may remember is a little slow): What is a Jesis Crist?  
  
Andra: * appears * WHAT!? YOU DON'T KNOW WHO JESUS CHRIST IS!? * starts raving and yelling about who Jesus Christ is *  
  
Authoress: * snaps fingers and Andra disappears* That's better.  
  
Aragorn: Um. Why exactly are you here?  
  
Happipurple: Oh yeaaaaaah! I came to remind my friend here that she sent Boromir to the Shadow Realm whilst she was slumbering! :D  
  
Authoress: Now is not the time for your acting career, so cut the fancy talk.  
  
Happipurple: Aww fine. :(  
  
Gimli: If Sam is gone, and Gandalf is gone, and Boromir is gone. then who's next?  
  
Yugi: Maybe it will be you.  
  
Yami: * separates from Yugi * So, maybe you'd better watch you back! * smiles evilly* Gimli: Uh, eep? * slowly inches away from Authoress * * jumps up on Balin's tomb *  
  
Airenidale: * whispers to Mai & Tea * He's trying to feel tall.  
  
Legolas ( who is across the room) : * laughs quietly *  
  
Airenidale: * smiles at Legolas *  
  
Joey: * stick tongue at Legolas *  
  
Legolas: * blushes *  
  
Gimli: Let's not forget the orcs! * arrow hits him and he falls down *  
  
Tea: Oh no. Poor Gimli. :(  
  
* big battle scene with orcs & troll comes in *  
  
Aragorn: * tosses daggers to YGO males * Take these!  
  
Joey: We don't need those! We have these! * pulls out Dueling Deck *  
  
Aragorn: Cards? You're going to fight with cards?  
  
Joey: Yeah. So?  
  
Mai: Uhhh. Joey, didn't you try that already?  
  
Joey: Oh, right. * dejected look *  
  
Yugi: I bet I can do it! I summon the Dark Magician! * nothing happens *  
  
Yami: I have more experience! I summon the Dark Magician! * nothing happens *  
  
Merry: You were saying?  
  
Happipurple: Oh, the Dark Magician doesn't like you anymore. He went off somewhere.  
  
* Dark Magician appears in midair and falls down *  
  
Dark Magician (Dark): Oof! Hey! I can talk!  
  
Pippin: So can I!  
  
YGO cast: * sweatdrop * LOTR cast: * roll eyes * Happipurple: As I was saying, maybe you should try a different monster.  
  
Yami: I summon Gaia the Fierce Knight!  
  
* Gaia appears and destroys the orcs and gets destroyed by cavetroll *  
  
Mai: Uh, that's not good.  
  
* Frodo get's speared *  
  
Mai: Uh, neither is that.  
  
Frodo: Owieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowie owieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowie owieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowieowie! Owie!  
  
Tristan: He's alive!  
  
Aragorn: You should be dead! That spear would have skewered a wild boar!  
  
Frodo: Well, I'm not dead but I'm in pain owieowie!  
  
Everyone: * stare in awe *  
  
Frodo: * running in circles waving arms * owieowieowieowie!  
  
Aragorn: How many did we lose?  
  
Tea: Gimli got shot.  
  
Mai: Oh well. It's not like anyone will miss him.  
  
Gimli: Hey! I'm alive! The arrow hit me in my hind quarters! * pulls it out *  
  
All: Eeeww!  
  
Gimli: Hey there is a piece of paper on it. * starts reading * You will find true love ^__^  
  
* females back away. then males back away *  
  
Gimli: or a sock. * puts hand in pocket thoughtfully * * pulls out a sock * Hooray! I have found my true love!  
  
Tea: Uhh, that's a sock.  
  
Gimli: What!? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!  
  
Cavetroll: * dies randomly of old age *  
  
Legolas: Yay! I killed it!  
  
* group sighs and moves on * Airenidale: * pats Legolas on the shoulder * * trip is uneventful until the bridge scene *  
  
Bridge/ balrog scene. ( sorry Gandalf, you got murdered by fangirls before you had a chance with the Ol' Sparky. I wonder who will take your place :D)  
  
Dark: I am the Dark Magician!  
  
Happipurple: Het hem.  
  
Dark: Uhh, I mean, Servant of the Secret Fire that does not include Yami weilder of the flame of Anor!  
  
Authoress: * mutters something about misplaced modifiers *  
  
Dark: Well, we didn't have English class in my time!  
  
Airenidale: Well, neither did I, but I still know what it is!  
  
Dark: Yeah, but elves are lore masters!  
  
Airenidale: And you live on a piece of paper!  
  
Dark: * face turns red with anger *  
  
Pippin: What's paper?  
  
Merry: And I still don't know what tape is!  
  
Happipurple: Easy Dark. We are here to kill the Balrog.  
  
Tea: Yeah, not to start fights amongst ourselves.  
  
Yami: If you start a friendship speech, I'll use the mind crush on you.  
  
Yugi: But you promised you wouldn't hurt any more people.  
  
Yami: Damn! I did! * starts swearing uncontrollably in Egyptian *  
  
Yugi: I've known you long enough to know that those are Egyptian swear words!  
  
Yami: Crap!  
  
* Joey pulls Airenidale's hair *  
  
Airenidale: * swears loudly in Elvish *  
  
Legolas: Airenidale! * horror face *  
  
Airenidale: It's not my fault! Joey pulled my hair!  
  
Legolas: * enraged * *pulls Joey behind a rock * * muffled yelps are heard *  
  
Balrog: Uhh, aren't you forgetting something?  
  
Authoress: We're waiting for the bridge under your feet to crumble.  
  
Balrog: They won't fall unless they are cued. The wizard guy has to hit his staff on it.  
  
Dark: Oh, ok. * hits staff on bridge *  
  
* balrog falls & brings Dark with him *  
  
Happipurple: I'll save you! * jumps after Dark * Oh, shit! I forgot I can't fly again!  
  
Authoress: * shakes her heads *  
  
Aragorn: Do you not mourn for your fallen comrade?  
  
Authoress: What? Oh, her. She always does that. She'll be back someday.  
  
All: O_O Someday?  
  
Pippin: Seriously, what's paper?  
  
Merry: And what's tape?  
  
Great! Now he has Pippin started! Oh well. Don't forget to review if you want to be a guest character, tell me what you want to do and I'll see if I can make it happen. :D 


	7. The aftermath

I need to apologize for that thing a few chapters back, when I implied that Gimli had no fans. I don't hate Gimli, I was just trying to put more humor in the story. I am truly sorry to all of the Gimli fans. Disclaimer: I own nothing except Authoress (me duh) and happipurple (also me sort of). Airenidale belongs to my friend and KaiDragon is a guest star.  
  
Outside the Mines ( aftermath )  
  
Everyone (except Authoress & Airenidale) is in tears.  
  
Aragorn: ( to YGO cast ) Why do you weep? It is not as if you knew Gandalf.  
  
Tea: Just because we didn't know him doesn't mean we can't be sad for him!  
  
Legolas: He was a great friend to all of us.  
  
Mai: Oh great. Tea! Now you got him started!  
  
Tea: Well, it's not like that's a bad thing.  
  
All: * roll eyes *  
  
Yami: It is not the wizard that I mourn for, but the Dark Magician. (  
  
Authoress: I thought the Dark Magician didn't like you anymore.  
  
Dark appears with Happipurple.  
  
Dark: That's right I don't.  
  
Yami & Yugi: Dark Magician! * group hug w/ dark *  
  
Dark: ACK! Get off! I said I don't like you anymore!  
  
*yami & yugi release Dark *  
  
Yugi: But, why not?  
  
Dark: Because he (Yami) is bossy and he orders me around and worst of all he doesn't let me talk!  
  
Frodo: What's going on? How did they get here?  
  
Authoress: * valley girl accent * I, like, use my magic powers, like, DUH!  
  
Frodo: Oh. Okay. * realization comes to his eyes * But, if you have magic powers why don't you ever help ME?  
  
Authoress: Because nobody in existence on Middle Earth gives a shit about you.  
  
Frodo: No one cares.  
  
Mai: Exactly. ^-^  
  
Tristan: Uh. Shouldn't we be moving on?  
  
Aragorn: He's right! By nightfall these hill will be swarming with orcs! We must reach the woods of Lothlorien.  
  
Authoress: Well, Boromir's not here to object, so. OK! ^___^  
  
Happipurple: Hey what happened to Merry and Pippin?  
  
Joey: They fell asleep when the Balrog fell down the hole. Now the dwarf's carrying them. I think they were muttering about office supplies. 5 minutes later  
  
Tristan: So, what's Lothlorien?  
  
Legolas: What? How can you not know what Lothlorien is!? I can't belie-  
  
Frodo: I don't know what Lothlorien is either.  
  
Legolas: Ignorant fools.  
  
Airenidale: I agree.  
  
Joey: Hey! I know when I've been insulted!  
  
Mai: Good for you, Joey. Good for you.  
  
Legolas: * insults Joey in Elvish *  
  
All who speak Elvish: * snicker *  
  
Joey: What?  
  
Gimli: * is being slow * They say a sorceress lives in these woods! An elf- witch of terrible power.  
  
Airenidale: So? What's so bad about elf-witches? * warning glare *  
  
Gimli: Uh. they are not good?  
  
Airenidale: What do you think I am!? * nearly runs into arrow *  
  
Tea: * nearly runs into arrow * EEK! YUGI! * jumps into Yugi's arms *  
  
Yugi: Yami! Help!  
  
Yami: Sorry, your on your own with that eccentric maniac.  
  
Yugi: Ugh. * falls down *  
  
Anonymous Elf: Are you alright miss? * helps Tea up *  
  
Tea: I am now! ^__^  
  
Gimli: I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox. * nearly runs into arrow *  
  
Haldir: The dwarf breathed so loud we could have shot him in the dark.  
  
Airendale: * giddy laugh *  
  
Haldir: 0_0 I'd know that laugh any where! Airenidale!  
  
Airenidale: Haldir! * they hug each other *  
  
Joey: Legolas, he's flirting with your woman.  
  
Legolas: * fists clenched, face red, eyes narrowed in anger, teeth clenched * She's not my woman.  
  
Female voice: Hey! What's going on? Let's me through! Who's-- ? Oh my God! It's LEGOLAS!  
  
Legolas: Uhh.  
  
KaiDragon ( guest star, and if you haven't guessed, the female voice ): * glomps Legolas* Legolas! Iloveyou Iloveyou Iloveyou Iloveyou Iloveyou Iloveyou Iloveyou Iloveyou!  
  
Legolas: Can't. breathe!  
  
Mai: * walks over to Airenidale * I think she's flirting with your guy.  
  
Airenidale: What? * turns *  
  
Legolas: * is turning purple * Help me.  
  
Happipurple: Look Dark! Legolas's skin matches your hair! ^___^ :D  
  
Airenidale: * walks over to Kai & Legolas * * punches Kai * Legolas obsesses over ME!  
  
Legolas: Uhh.  
  
Airendale: Discreetly of course.  
  
Authoress: Hey! No extreme violence! Airenidale! You've just earned yourself a time out! As for KaiDragon, * snaps fingers and KaiDragon disappears * she'll probably be in a coma for a while (sorry KaiDragon). * snaps fingers again and unbreakable floating ropes tie themselves around Airenidale *  
  
Airenidale: * rolls eyes *  
  
Legolas: No! Airenidale! Uhh. I mean. that's too bad?  
  
Tristan: Why does he get all the babes?  
  
Authoress: Because I won't let your fangirls in.  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Anonymous Elf from before: Sorry runt, but I guess I took your girl.  
  
Yugi: * innocent eyes * I have no idea what your talking about.  
  
Tea: You saved me! I'm Tea. What's your name?  
  
Anonymous Elf from before: My name is . Duhn duhn duhn. Ok, so that was a horrible pathetic chapter, oh well. I'll try to post a better one in the near future, but I can't make any promises. Oh yeah, if anyone has any name suggestions for the elf, please review, cuz I need ideas. Also, vote, whose hair is better, Mai's or Legolas's? Should I introduce Legos to Legolas? :D 


	8. Lothlorien

Hey everybody^-^ This is Airenidale! The Authoress has writers block, and I as the co-writer must continue this fanfiction. WARNING! This chapter has a few things that "young" people shouldn't read.  
  
Authoress: My turn, Most of this story is Airenidale's but I helped quite a bit as well. This story is xtraxtra long for the long wait. Also, the story now must be PG-13 because of some language and gore. Also, Asseria is the character of my Authoress friend, RoseannRiddle.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own YGO or LOTR I own: Happipurple & Authoress My friend owns: Airenidale RoseannRiddle owns: Asseria The Guest stars own themselves.  
  
*Magical ropes fall off Airenidale *  
  
Airenidale: Yipee! I'm free^-^  
  
Authoress: Cheap piece of shit! They don't make it like they used to!  
  
Anonymous elf: My name is Nia.  
  
Tea: But, but, but, that's a girls name!  
  
Nia: Yea, what did you think I was?  
  
Tristan: You changed?  
  
Mrs. Kaczmarczak (kaz-mar-zack): * monotone expression and voice* You need to keep your tenses strait or else you will cause confusion.  
  
Authoress: OOH MY GOD!!!!! NOT MRS. MONOTONE!!! AHHHHH* continues for 2 pages* *waves arms franticly and purple gorillas, evil raccoons, carrot bags, the wise and mighty duck-billed platypus, and the three foot tall purple salamander that tap dances and sings appears and disappears randomly (these are inside jokes by the way)*  
  
The Wise and Mighty Duck-Billed Platypus (TWAMDBP): *waddles up to Joey * Erpp.  
  
Airenidale: *gasp * The Wise and Mighty Duck-Billed Platypus!  
  
Joey: This thing is retarded.  
  
Airenidale: How dare you! Show respect to your surpior!  
  
TWAMDBP: Erp^_^ *rubs against Joey's leg *  
  
Tea: Aww, the Psyduck looking thingythigy (a wonderful new word thanks to typos) likes Joey.  
  
Dark: *sweat drop * Uh, you play Pokémon?  
  
Tea: Uh, no? *hids gameboy behind back *  
  
Shadowy voice (you'll find out in a later chapter): Tea must die.  
  
Tea: Umm, eep? Joey: Yanno what, this purple duck thing is kinda cute. *scratches chin *  
  
TWAMDBP: Erp.? *disappears *  
  
Joey: Aww!  
  
The Three Foot Tall Purple Salamander (TTFTPS): *British accent * Would you care for a drink of water?  
  
Happipurple: DON'T DRINK THE WATER OR ELSE YOU'LL TURN INTO A THREE FOOT TALL PURPLE SALAMANDER THAT TAP-DANCES AND SINGS " I'm better than you 'caz I'm a three foot tall purple salamander that tap dances and * pauses then hits a reeeeeeally high note * SINGS"  
  
TTFTPS: *snaps fingers * damn. *disappears *  
  
Happipurple: Oh no! She's gone insane! We have to do something!  
  
Yami: So have you.  
  
Faerie Thingy: *appears *  
  
Joey: Hey Yug, look! It's one of those game pixies!  
  
Faerie Thingy: I'm Asseria^-^ I'm Galadriel's lil' helper lady person^-^  
  
Tristan: You're a person O.o?  
  
Asseria: No duh!!!! *pokes Tristan in the eye *  
  
Haldir: Asseria! Make that horrible monotonous troll disappear!!!!!  
  
Asseria: *stubbornly * you didn't say the magic word.  
  
All but Authoress and Mrs. Kaczmarczak: PLEASE!!!!!!!!  
  
Asseria: Bye-bye^-^ *snaps fingers *  
  
Mrs. Kaczmarczak: *disappears*  
  
All: Thank God!  
  
Tea: *oblivious and whining* Why is there something wrong with everyone I like! (  
  
Airenidale: Hey, are we continuing this plot line or not? Come on hustle! Let's move! Yo, Haldir, Ass, lead the way!  
  
Asseria: Hey, that was offensive!  
  
Airenidale: Oops, sorry.  
  
Pippin: Seriously, what's paper?  
  
Merry: And what's tape?  
  
Six minutes later.  
  
Airenidale: *randomly * And with a score of 6 and 2, fans vote Legolas has better hair than Mai!  
  
All but Airenidale: *Stare blankly*  
  
Airenidale: Uhh, random synapse?  
  
Gimli: (The slow one) What's a sinapist?  
  
Authoress: *Snaps fingers and pulls dictionary out of nowhere * A snyapse is the point where one nervous impulse passes from one neuron to another.  
  
Gimli: I'm sorry I asked.  
  
Time Space Continum: *tears * (remember this point) *Review comes out and only Airenidale can hear it *  
  
Airenidale: WHAT!!!! Legolas's hair is NOT a wig!!!! I'll show you! *Jumps on Legolas's back and starts pulling at his hair *  
  
Legolas: ACK! Somebody get her off me! Help!  
  
Joey: Sorry Legs, but yer on yer own.  
  
Airenidale: I told you it was real! *jumps off Legolas * *Hysterical laughter *  
  
Tea: What the hell was that?  
  
Yugi: When did you start swearing?  
  
Joey: *Groan * Uhhhhhhggggggg. I can't go on like this! Must. stop. rest. *faints *  
  
Mai: Wow, he made it longer than five minutes this time!  
  
Legolas: *soft gasp * Is that the Nimrodel?  
  
Airenidale: Yay! Legolas! Let's sing the song!  
  
Legolas and Airenidale: *beaming * An Elven-maid there was of old  
  
All: * hear monotonous singing *  
  
Mai: Oh my god! Asseria, I thought you got rid of that nightmare!  
  
Asseria: Hehe! Fooled ya^-^  
  
Legolas: Anyway, shall we continue?  
  
Airenidale: Okie dokie^-^  
  
Haldir: I'm singing, too!  
  
Elves: A shining star by day:  
  
Aragorn: *snaps fingers to the beat *  
  
Mai: What are you doing you idiot! Turtles go faster than that song! And you elves, SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!! I have got to teach you some new music!!! And another thing, we are stoping here because my hair is falling down! All of you, you need baths! Especially the boys!!!  
  
Males: *suspiciously * Why?  
  
Mai: Because you stink!  
  
Legolas: I do not stink!  
  
Joey: Niether do I! Wait. *sniffs under arms, turns green, faints*  
  
Yami: When did he regain consienceness?  
  
Frodo: Who cares? He lost it again.  
  
Yugi: I care, but I don't care about you!  
  
Frodo: *sob * Nobody cares.  
  
Merry: No shit.  
  
Airenidale: Excuse me, but I going to take a bath. *walks off towards Nimrodel *  
  
Legolas: *Slowly creeps after Airenidale *  
  
Haldir: And just where do you think you are going, Legolas? ¬.¬  
  
Legolas: Uh, Nowhere?  
  
Fifteen minutes later.  
  
Legolas: Umm, it's been a long time since Airenidale left, I think I should check on her.*starts to leave *  
  
Mai: Oh no you don't! *Grabs Legolas's shoulder *  
  
Legolas: *pouty face * *smiles fiendishly * *eavesdrops *  
  
Airenidale: *singing * Oh, Mickey what a pity you don't understand, you take me by the heart when you take me by the hand. Oh, Mickey you're so fine, but can't you understand, it's guys like you Mickey.  
  
Legolas: *Horror face and stands up * NO! She sings of another!  
  
All but Legolas and Airenidale: *Stare blankly *  
  
Five minutes later.  
  
Airenidale: *comes back humming the Mickey song *  
  
Mai: *Hears humming * Oh, *points at Legolas * Haha!  
  
Authoress: My turn! *runs off*  
  
Five hours later.  
  
Authoress: *comes back * *looks like a prune * (literlary)  
  
All but Authoress: *Gasps *  
  
Tea: *high pithched scream *  
  
Mai: Umm, you look like a prune. That is like a total fashion no-no!  
  
Authoress: Just kidding! *snaps fingers and returns to normal *  
  
Joey: Comon' everybody! Let's ditch this popsical stand!  
  
Mai: Not until you have a bath!! *Grabs him by the ear *  
  
Joey: Who died an' made ya my mother?  
  
Authoress: I did!  
  
Joey: Whaa?  
  
Authoress: Watch! *pulls tape out of nowhere *  
  
VCR: *appears *  
  
Authoress: *plays tape *  
  
The VCR shows the Authoress being slautered by a monster from a 70's movie.  
  
Joey: Dat doesn't prove a thing!  
  
Authoress: Your right I was just playing with Hollywood! Mwahaha! All Hollywood is at my command! *evil grin *  
  
Airenidale: Come on! Let's Move!  
  
Mai: NOT UNTIL WE ARE CLEAN!!!  
  
Airenidale: But, but, but.  
  
Authoress to Airenidale: May I?  
  
Airenidale: Please!  
  
Authoress: *snaps fingers and a buckets of water pour onto everyone who has not had a bath *  
  
Joey: *singing * I'm singin' in da rain! Oh I'm singin' in da rain!  
  
Elves: Don't you EVER do that to us AGAIN!  
  
Authoress: And how are you gonna stop me?  
  
Airenidale: Okay, we're clean, let's go!  
  
Ten minutes later.  
  
*Malik and a girl with black hair, tanned skin, and purple eyes fall through the Time Space Contium tear *  
  
All: *Scream in surprise *  
  
Airenidale: *Helps them up *  
  
Girl: Thank you. My name's Keya. This is Malik. He's my boyfriend^-^ Uh, how did we get here? And whats with the funky ears?  
  
Yami: *hides behind Authoress *  
  
Airenidale: You fell through the tear in the Time Space Continum Tear. My name is Airenidale, I'm an elf thus, I have pointy ears. This is Legolas, Aragorn *continues to name the Fellowship * and last but not least, Yami.  
  
Malik: YAMI?! YOU KILLED MY FATHER AND NOW I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! *grasps Yami's throught *  
  
Yami: I didn't do it I swear!  
  
Malik: LIAR!  
  
Yugi: Yami would never do a thing like that! *looks suspiciously at Yami * Would you?  
  
Airenidale and Legolas: *attempt to pry Malik's death grip off Yami *  
  
Airenidale, Legolas, Malik, Yami: *fall over *  
  
Legolas: Hey, you look like Airenidale.  
  
Malik: *unclamps death grip and stands up *  
  
Airenidale and Malik: *look at each other *  
  
Airenidale: Hey, your right! We have the same eyes and hair, except mine are prettier ^-^  
  
Authoress: No duh! You're cousins one universe removed!  
  
Malik: Really? Wow! *hugs Airenidale *  
  
Dark: Oh how beautiful, a family reunion. It's not like we are getting any younger, so please move on!  
  
Elves: Speak for yourself!  
  
Joey: What do you mean?  
  
Elves: We're elves! We live forever! Duh!  
  
Malik: *gasp * Dark Magician, you can talk?!  
  
Authoress: *tells Malik and Keya the whole story * We are never going to make it to Lothlorien at this rate! *snaps fingers and a plothole appears *  
  
All: *fall through hole *  
  
In Lothlorien.  
  
Happipurple: WHHEEEEEEE! That was fun! Can we do it again?  
  
Yugi: No. *runs into forest and regurgitates what small morsles of food he ate for breakfast this morning.  
  
Gimli: Eewww, Yugi barfed!  
  
Mai: That is so childish.  
  
Tea: Poor Yugi.  
  
Nia: Damn it, I lost her to the runt!  
  
Malik: Oh, Keya, it's so beautiful^-^! *glances around * Keya? Uh, guys, where's Keya?  
  
Authoress: She didn't make it through the plot hole.  
  
Malik: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *turns around to jump through the plot hole *  
  
Plot hole: *closes *  
  
Malik: Keeeyaaa! Noooooooooooooo! We have to save her! She's all I've got!  
  
Airenidale: You still have me.  
  
Malik: *sob * It's not the same.  
  
Frodo: At least you have your cousin! I have no one! No one cares about ME.  
  
Frodo Fangirl (FF)and a disease that is curantly residing in my house(D): I care about this little hobbit! *hugs Frodo *  
  
Frodo: YAY! Somebody loves ME!  
  
Authoress: Not for long pathetic mortal *snaps fingers and FF and D disappear *  
  
Happipurple: That's Yami-Bakura's line!  
  
Authoress: I'm trying to improvise!  
  
Frodo: NOOOOOOO! Now no one loves ME!  
  
Authoress: So sad. Oh well, it's not like anyone cares. :D  
  
Mai: Why do you always stress the word ME?  
  
Frodo: *crosses arms, inoccent look, raises eyebrows * Because ME am the most important person around here, I mean I do have the ring.  
  
Mai: Sheesh, not even Joey is that self-absobed.  
  
Malik: Oh lookie lookie! Tree houses! ^-^  
  
Joey: Glad to see you're done cryin'.  
  
Malik: Crying isn't the manly thing to do, especially in front of the women. I only cry in front of Keya. She's my girlfriend^-^!  
  
Dark: We've already astablished that.  
  
Asseria: If you people are done talking, I think we really need to get going. The Lady is waiting after all. *impatient look *  
  
Yami: One moment please, we need more embassadors! I summon the Celtic Gaurdian!  
  
Celtic Gaurdian: (CG)*appears * *in jock voice *Woow, dude, I can talk! Sweet man!  
  
Dark: *rolls eyes *  
  
Malik: And up the stairs we go^-^  
  
Joey: One, two, three, four.  
  
Ten minutes later.  
  
Joey: 1001, 1002, 1003, 1004.  
  
Three hours later.  
  
Joey: 8956242, 8956243, 8956244, 8956245  
  
Authoress: Umm, Joey? You are walking on an escalator.  
  
Joey: What! No, not again! Wait hey, no I'm not! You can't get rid of me that easily! *throughs head back and laughs and falls down stairs * NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
All: *hear loud banging noise and lots of swearing *  
  
Joey: I lost my count! NOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Mai: I think you should focus on, maybe, getting back up here!  
  
Galadriel: Um, are you going to listen to me now? *tumble weed rolls across the scene *  
  
Asseria: Bye^-^ *flies away *  
  
Airenidale: What's the buzz fourth cuz?  
  
Galadriel: Right. *confused look *  
  
Yugi: *Gasp * The Mystical Elf has come to life!  
  
Legolas: What's the Mystical Elf?  
  
Yami: She is the most beautiful of all Duel Monsters!  
  
Airenidale: WHAT! What am I? Chopped liver? I am so much more good looking than her! *very angery * Bring this Elf lady out here and then we'll see who's prettier!  
  
Yami: Um, okay. I summon the Mystical Elf!  
  
Mystical Elf (ME): *appears *  
  
CG: *in jock voice * Wow Dude! Hot babe at twelve o'clock!  
  
Airenidale: I look a lot more like that Mystical Elf thing than Galadriel!  
  
Galadriel: Nuh uh!  
  
Airenidale: Ya huh!  
  
Galadriel: Nuh uh!  
  
Airenidale: Ya huh!  
  
Aragorn: Ladies, ladies, please that's enough!  
  
Airenidale: Who are YOU to give orders to elf sorceresses and queens?!  
  
Aragorn: Uh, could you just keep it down a little bit, pretty please with sugar on top? *suck-up smile *  
  
Galadriel: Very well then. *continues argument telepathicly *  
  
Tristan: ACK! Their eyes are bulging!  
  
Authoress: Well, no duh!  
  
CG: Hey babe, wanna hang out?  
  
ME: Sure! *valley girl accent * Like, totally! *runs off into the woods with CG *  
  
Yami: I better call them back now.  
  
Joey: Yea, ya don't want little elf babies crawling around!  
  
Legolas: Oh, let them have their fun.  
  
Joey: Keep you sexual fantasies of Airenidale to yourself.  
  
Happipurple: Oh dear god.  
  
Authoress: *barely stops Andra from getting in the fanfiction *  
  
Legolas: I do not have sexual fantasies about Airenidale!  
  
Joey: Oh, so you fantasize about someone else. *mental evil smile *  
  
Airenidale: *breaks away from telepathic argument * WHAT!? HOW DARE YOU!? *does freaky Galadriel ring demonic blue trick except she turns silver * I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT JUST POSSIBLY BE MY TRUE LOVE! THEN YOU TURN AROUND AND FALL IN LOVE WITH SOME OTHER WOMAN! WHAT? I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, EH? *tears well in eyes and stalks off *  
  
Dark: *muttering * great, she's Canadian.  
  
Legolas: Wait, I can explain! It's not true!  
  
Joey: *smirks * so what are you gonna say ta that?  
  
Legolas: You shall pay dearly. *death glare and draggs Joey by the collar of his shirt behind random object *  
  
Authoress: No permenent damage to the borrowed characters. I have to give them back yanno.  
  
Legolas: Damnit!  
  
Tea: I won't have any of that!  
  
All: *hear elvish swearing amid muffeled yelps *  
  
Galadriel: That was rude, wow, that was a definite insult, Legolas, don't insult his mother like that, may the Valar have mercy on your soul, what a filthy mouth!  
  
Legolas to Joey: You can go now.  
  
Joey: *crawls out * *covered with cuts and bruises * *moans *  
  
Tea: Poor Joey.  
  
Mai: That looks like it hurts.  
  
Legolas: He damn well desirved it!  
  
Celeborn: Uh, where's Gandalf? I wanna talk to him.  
  
Pippin: My fangirls murdered him in Moria! :D  
  
Celeborn: This is just awful!  
  
Merry: I know, we miss him, too.  
  
Celeborn: It's not that.  
  
All: Huh?  
  
Celeborn: Pippin has fangirls and I don't! *cries *  
  
Anime characters: *sweat drop *  
  
LOTR characters: *roll eyes *  
  
Galadriel: You don't need fangirls, you have ME :D  
  
Celeborn: You just don't get it.  
  
Galadriel: Anyway. I can give you all fourtunes, I mean council, and you can stay here tonight if you want.  
  
Two Hours Later.  
  
All: *waiting for council *  
  
Joey: How long is this gonna take? I have been standing here for hours!  
  
Mai: No you haven't! It's only been 10 minutes!  
  
Galadriel: *sends out telepatic summoning *  
  
Airenidale: Wow! That was cool! The Lady wants me, bye yall! ^-^  
  
Joey: What! LINE CUTTER!  
  
Tristan: Save it Joey.  
  
Legolas: *smiles and waves as Airenidale passes *  
  
Airenidale: *sticks nose in the air and goes down another long set of stairs * *gets to bottom *  
  
Legolas: *lower lip trembles *  
  
Airenidale: ACK! Bright colors! *shields eyes * Galadriel, what's with the get-up?  
  
Galadriel: *looks at gypsy clothes she is wearing * It's my Fortune outfit! Do you like it? :D  
  
Airenidale: Sure, whatever you say.  
  
Galadriel: Take a seat my friend. *motions to a chair around a crystal ball *  
  
Kaiba fangirl Magix: Outta my way sister! *pushes Airenidale away and runs up to Galadriel * When's Seto coming! Tell me NOW!  
  
Galadriel: Don't be so impatient! Wait a few more chapters! Okay? Now beat it!  
  
Magix: *disappears *  
  
Galadriel: Let's get this show on the road, shall we? What do you see in the orb?  
  
Airenidale: *gazes into ball * Oh my, *gasp * wow.  
  
Galadriel: What do you see?!  
  
Airenidale: Haha fooled ya!  
  
Galadriel: Huh?  
  
Airenidale: Can't you read my mind? Ther's nothing here. Just a bunch of mist.  
  
Galadriel: Cheap piece of shit! *picks up crystal ball and chucks it against wall *  
  
Airenidale: So what do I do now?  
  
Galadriel: Will you look into the mirror?  
  
Airenidale: Sure.  
  
Galadriel: *takes cord and plugs it into a socket that appeared on the wall * (how handy^-^)  
  
Airenidale: Wait, is that thing going to electricute me?  
  
Galadriel: No, I already tried it on the dwarf and nothing happened.  
  
Airenidale: Hollywood is so fake.  
  
Galadriel: I know the feeling.  
  
Airenidale: *looks into water * *big smile * starts giggleing * *pulls away *  
  
Galadriel: What did you see?  
  
Airenidale: Non ya bees wax!  
  
Galdriel: *attemps to read her mind *  
  
Airenidale: Oh no you don't! *high pitched scream in mind *  
  
Galadriel: Grr. Any way, you may go. Call the blond one when you leave.  
  
Airenidale: Which one?  
  
Galadriel: Legolas.  
  
Airenidale: Oh, him. Fine.  
  
Galadriel: Go easy on him. He has the hots for you yanno.  
  
Airenidale: Gee, ya think. *walks upstairs * Legolas, the Lady wishes for your presence.  
  
Legolas: Thank you! *big smile at Airenidale *  
  
Airenidale: *ignores him * Hi Joey, what's up!  
  
Legolas: *cries and runs down stairs *  
  
Five Minutes Later.  
  
Legolas: *comes back up *  
  
Joey: What did she say to ya, Legs?  
  
Legolas: She said that I am too defencive, and need to admit things to myself.  
  
Mai: Hm, I wonder why. *rolls eyes *  
  
Legolas: Yugi, she wants to talk to you.  
  
Yugi: Thanks Legolas! *runs down steps *  
  
Five Minutes Later.  
  
Yugi: Comews back up * *pulls out tape measurer * Three more feet. *mutters *  
  
Tea: Yay! Yugi's gonna be taller than me someday! :D *attemps to give Mai a big hug *  
  
Mai: Watch it! *tries to evade *  
  
Tea: *hugs Mai's hair *  
  
Mai: *frustrated yell * You wrecked my hair! How DARE you!  
  
Airenidale: Take a chill pill! You can take a bath tomorrow! Anyway, I'm going to bed. I'm so sleepy.  
  
Legolas: *stands up *  
  
Airenidale: Don't even think about following me Legolas Greenleaf!  
  
Legolas: *whimpers *  
  
Mai: Me, too!  
  
Joey: Me, three!  
  
Yugi: Me, four!  
  
Yami: I don't sleep.  
  
Authoress: You can stand guard.  
  
Yami: Against what, evil trees. * raises eyebrow (I wish I could do that!) *  
  
Authoress: Nooo, against evil spirits, duh!  
  
Tea: Me, five!  
  
Tristan: Me, six!  
  
Frodo: ME, seven!  
  
Happipurple: No one cares Frodo. Me, eight!  
  
Dark: Me, nine!  
  
Happipurple: Do you sleep? I didn't know that!  
  
Dark: Hey! I AM human ya know. Well, sort of. I think. Maybe. Not. Never mind I guess I don't sleep.  
  
Airenidale: How sad.  
  
Happipurple: Aww. It okay! * glomps Dark *  
  
Dark: Ack. * corners of mouth twitch (in the upward direction) *  
  
Aragorn: Me, ten!  
  
Gimli: Me, eleventeen!  
  
All: *roll eyes *  
  
Merry: Me, twelve!  
  
Pippin: Me, fourteen, I mean, me, thirteen!  
  
Malik: Me, fourtheen. Not YOU Pippin, ME!  
  
Pippin: Well soooorry! P  
  
Authoress: Well, I believe I shall go to bed as well.  
  
Legolas: Goodnight everyone. *flattens grass next to him * You can sleep next to me if you want Airenidale.  
  
Airenidale: I'd rather kiss a toilet seat!  
  
Mai: Now, Airenidale, we both now that's not true.  
  
Airenidale: Um, yes it is! *turns red and walks away *  
  
Legolas: She's gonna kill me!  
  
All: *confused looks *  
  
Legolas: *rolls eyes *  
  
Aragorn: It's okay. Elvish women are like that!  
  
Legolas: Oh ya, you would know! * coughArwencough *  
  
Aragorn: * turns red *  
  
Legolas: *lies down (does NOT close eyes) *  
  
Joey: I thought you were goin' ta sleep.?  
  
Legolas: Elves sleep with their eyes open, foolish mortal.  
  
Tristan: I thought that was Bakura's line.  
  
Pippin: What's paper?  
  
Merry: And what's tape?  
  
Nightime.  
  
Legolas: Airenidale. Airenidale, where for art thou Airenidale? Oh there you are! Oh, Airenidale.  
  
Tea: *wakes up * Legolas and his Shakespear. Oh, well. I think I'll practice my dancing. * walks away *  
  
Yugi: May I have this dance?  
  
Tea: Yugi, you got so tall. and buff.  
  
Yugi: *takes Tea in his arms *  
  
Tea: Dancing in the moon and star light with Yugi. *sigh * this is so romantic.  
  
Yugi: Tea *gets down on one knee and pulls out a ring-box* there is something I must tell you and then ask you something, Tea Gardener, I lo- *gets cut off *  
  
BLOODY SCENE, CHILDREN COVER YOUR EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Lady Chaos: *jumps out of bushes * *stabbs Tea repeatedly *  
  
- Blood is flying everywhere and covering everything, including Yugi Tea & Lady Chaos. Agonized Tea screames are heard as organs decide to fly away in all directions. - END GORE SCENE  
  
Lady Chaos: * cackles evilly * No more friendship speeches! :D * dissapears into the shadows *  
  
Tea: * wakes up ( for real this time ) screaming * *checks body for holes * *sigh of relief *  
  
Yugi: * wakes up because of Tea's hysterical outburst *  
  
Tea: * runs to Yugi * I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I do I DO!  
  
Yugi: What are you talking about?  
  
Tea: Weren't you going to say - dammit! I bet it was a dream!  
  
Yugi: I'm not going to ask.  
  
Lady Chaos: * jumps from shadows with a knife in her hand * DIE TEA!  
  
Yugi: No! * stands in front of Tea *  
  
Lady Chaos: Dammit! * dissapears *  
  
Tea: Yugi! You saved me!  
  
Yugi: I had to.  
  
Tea: * beams *  
  
Yugi: If I had let you die, that person over there would hurt me very very badly. * points to Authoress *  
  
Tea: * confused look * You mean you didn't do it just to save a friend, and out of the goodness of you kind heart?  
  
Yugi: *snores * (he's asleep incase you didn't know)  
  
Tea: Aww. how cute.  
  
Malik: (to himself) Of course she would never stop to consider WHY he fell asleep.  
  
Sorry it took so long to update, but you know, school and stuff. Next chapter, Galadriel gives gifts! Read & review! 


	9. Note

I'm reeeally sorry to all of my wonderful fans out there, but I am not continuing the fanfic. If I ever decide that the fanfic will be continued, which is very unlikely (sorry!), I will post something. I might have one of my friends continue the fanfic at some point, but keep in mind that we are all very busy and might not continue the fanfic for a long time, if ever. 


	10. Presents!

Looks like I've been inspired. Don't start expecting it. Also, I'm switching to Japanese names. I don't own the comically misshapen carrot.  
  
In Lothlorien:  
  
Galadriel: It's party time! Everybody gets presents!  
  
All: Yay!!!  
  
Galadriel: Let's do thisin order of..., who am I kidding? Random order!!! Gifts will go in this order: Airenidale, Legolas, Aragorn, Merry, Pippin, Frodo, Gimli, Anzu, Jonouchi, Yuugi, Yami, Mai, Honda, Kaiba's (who finally caught up to everybody). Everyone else left, because they couldn't wait this long, and they actually had lives to get back to. Let's take a look and see how they're doing:  
  
*scene fades to some people who we thought got banished to the shadow realm*  
  
On an Island in the Bahamas  
  
Sam: This is the life! Don't you think so Boromir? *sips lemonade*  
  
Boromir: Sure beats having to fight orcs all the time. *getting a tan*  
  
Malik & his girlfriend: *making out like crazy*  
  
*scene back to Lothlorien*  
  
All: *remembering Elrond's words*  
  
Elrond: None of you is bound to go further than you will... *echo, echo, echo...*  
  
All: Nah, we're too cool.  
  
Authoress: Wait a minute, why don't I get presents?  
  
Galadriel: What do you think I am, a Christmas tree?!?!?!?!  
  
Authoress: Grrr...  
  
Galadriel: *reads off list* Airenidale... you get *fanfare* A WHOLE NEW WARDROBE, COMPLETE WITH A KILLER MAKEOVER!!!  
  
Airenidale: OMG!!!! YAY!!!  
  
Authoress: Beauty Queen...  
  
Airenidale: Shut up!  
  
Galadriel: Next... Legolas... I give you... you're gonna love this one... A—Wait a minute... where's my introduction music?!?!?  
  
Random monkey: *British accent* Sorry!  
  
Galadriel: *drumroll* Airenidale! And a comically misshapen carrot.  
  
Airenidale: Huh? What?  
  
Galadriel: I'm giving you to Legolas.  
  
Airenidale: Oh, ok.  
  
Legolas: YAY!!! Uh... I mean ... thanks for the present?  
  
Airenidale: Shut up, you know you love me. *hits him over the top of the head*  
  
Galadriel: Next, Aragorn! You're in the same boat as the authoress...  
  
Aragorn: Wow! What a great present!  
  
Galadriel: *doesn't hear for some reason* There is no greater gift I can give you *touches his pretty jewel* than the one you already bear.  
  
Aragorn: Uh huh. Riiiight.  
  
Galadriel: Next, Merry and Pippin! I can't remember which of you is which, so I'm giving you joint custody of these: * gives them books almost two- thirds their size*  
  
Merry: A "T" Encyclopedia? But what's paper?  
  
Pippin: A "P" Encyclopedia? But, what IS tape?  
  
Airenidale: *switches the books*  
  
Merry/Pippin: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh. That helps.  
  
Galadriel: Next, Frodo. Light of Eärendil. Next.  
  
Frodo: But, but, I wanted Sam! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaa! *sniff* Galadriel: No one cares. Gimli, what do you want.  
  
Gimli: Blonde hair.  
  
Galadriel: *pulls out some hair* Ow. Here ya go.  
  
Gimli: *happy face* Soooo, happpppyyyyyy!!!!  
  
Galadriel: Next, Anzu. You get: Sam's stuff, plus elvish rope, and a box of dirt.  
  
Anzu: Um... can I have a tall buff version of Yuugi?  
  
Yami: *edges away*  
  
Yuugi: I feel unloved.  
  
Anzu: I love you Yuugi!!!  
  
Galadriel: Next, Jonouchi. You get, um... Mai. And a year supply of calamari, courtesy of Legolas.  
  
Jono: SWEET!  
  
Mai: What?! I should get him! Not the other way around!  
  
Galadriel: * does scary Galadriel trick* WAIT YOUR TURN!!!!!!!  
  
Jono: ............  
  
Yuugi: My turn, My turn!!!  
  
Galadriel: I'm running out of stuff... NEXT!  
  
Yuugi: Awww...  
  
Anzu: You can share my presents!  
  
Yuugi: Yay! You're such I great friend!  
  
Anzu: Yay! I like being a great friend. I like seeing my friens happy! I like ... *blahblahblah*  
  
Galadriel: Yami, you can have the monkey.  
  
Yami: Yes! More subjects to rule with my power as phaoroh!  
  
Galadriel: Mai, it's your turn. As I have no stuff left, and because of your... request, I will give you official legal ownership of Jonouchi.  
  
Mai: It's about time.  
  
Galadriel: Honda, I will give you this motorcycle, complete with helmet, leather jacket and all that jazz.  
  
Airenidale: *starts singing from Chicago*  
  
Authoress: So that's how he got that stuff...  
  
Galadriel: And finally, for you two who share the name 'Kaiba' it is gift enough that I don't remove you heads from you shoulders for trespassing! Make sure it doesn't happen again.  
  
Seto: Hmph.  
  
Mokuba: We won't! I promise! Nii-sama!!! (Big brother)  
  
Galadriel: Such a cute little boy. You are all welcome hear whenever you want. Now go away.  
  
Aragorn: I get Authoress's boat!!! 


End file.
